The topic of how to handle sugar with children is a source of anxiety for many parents, often leading to approaches that can inadvertently backfire. The philosophy at Feeding Littles, developed by registered dietitian Judy and feeding therapist Megan, offers a clear, compassionate, and research-backed alternative. Their core belief is rooted in intuitive eating, which aims to create a positive, lifelong relationship with all foods, including sweets. This involves removing the 'specialness' from sugar and avoiding labeling foods as 'good' or 'bad'.
The Problem with Restriction
When parents heavily restrict a food, children often become obsessed with it, viewing it as the coveted "forbidden fruit". This can lead to sneaking, overeating when given access, and a cycle of shame and guilt around food. Feeding Littles points out that authoritarian and controlling parenting styles around food are correlated with disordered eating behaviors. They advocate for a balanced, neutral approach that allows children to learn to manage their own intake, rather than being managed by external rules.
Core Principles of the Feeding Littles Sugar Philosophy
Serve Sweets with Meals
One of the most powerful strategies is to serve dessert or sweet foods alongside the rest of the meal, rather than as a reward or bribe. This levels the playing field, teaching children that a cookie is simply another component of the meal, no different from the broccoli or pasta. This practice, endorsed by experts like Ellyn Satter, helps prevent children from seeing dessert as the grand prize they must endure other foods to win.
Normalize and Neutralize Language
Feeding Littles encourages parents to use neutral, non-judgmental language around food. This means avoiding terms like "junk food," "sometimes food," or "treats". By simply referring to food by its name ("We're having ice cream") and keeping the tone neutral, parents can prevent sweets from being placed on a pedestal. This helps desensitize the child to the power of sweets, making them less likely to obsess over them.
Encourage Self-Regulation
When serving a sweet food, Feeding Littles suggests experimenting with letting your child have their fill. This may feel uncomfortable initially but helps children learn to listen to their body's internal cues of hunger and fullness. By having predictable access to sweets, children learn to self-regulate and often take smaller, more moderate portions over time. It's a key step in raising competent, intuitive eaters who trust their bodies.
Model a Healthy Relationship with Food
Children are highly observant and learn by watching their parents. Part of the Feeding Littles approach is for parents to model a balanced attitude toward food themselves. This means eating sweets with enjoyment, but also demonstrating a broader diet rich in a variety of foods. When a child asks why a parent isn't eating dessert, the recommended response is weight-neutral, such as, “I’m not hungry for that right now,” rather than suggesting the food is "bad".
Comparison: Restrictive vs. Intuitive Approach to Sugar
| Aspect | Restrictive Approach | Feeding Littles' Intuitive Approach |
|---|---|---|
| Core Belief | Sugar is "bad" and must be strictly limited or avoided. | All foods fit; the goal is balance and a healthy relationship with food. |
| Sweets as Reward | Used as a reward for good behavior or finishing meals. | Never used as a reward or bribe, served neutrally with the meal. |
| Language | Uses value-laden terms like "junk food," "sometimes food." | Uses neutral terms, referring to food by its name. |
| Access | Limited and unpredictable access creates scarcity. | Consistent, predictable access, removing the "forbidden fruit" mentality. |
| Child's Role | Child's intake is controlled by the parent. | Child learns to listen to their own hunger and fullness cues. |
| Result | Can lead to obsession, sneaking, and disordered eating patterns. | Builds self-regulation and a positive, confident relationship with food. |
Practical Strategies and Considerations
While the American Heart Association and Dietary Guidelines for Americans recommend no added sugar for children under two, Feeding Littles acknowledges that, for many families, this is not always realistic. Instead of rigid adherence that can create anxiety, they focus on strategies for a balanced real-life approach. This includes swapping sugary drinks for water or milk, using naturally sweet alternatives like fruit, and reducing the added sugar in recipes.
For families concerned about their child's preoccupation with sugar, the advice is to increase the frequency of serving sweets, not to restrict them further. Consistent, predictable exposure at planned times helps reduce the novelty and desirability. For instance, serving dessert with dinner every night for a period can help desensitize the child and allow them to self-regulate.
Conclusion
Feeding Littles' philosophy on sugar is not about eliminating it, but about reframing it. By applying the principles of intuitive eating, parents can move away from restrictive practices and teach children how to mindfully and confidently navigate their food environment. This approach fosters a healthy relationship with food that lasts a lifetime, replacing shame and anxiety with balance and enjoyment. The goal is to empower children to become competent eaters who can listen to their bodies and enjoy a variety of foods, including sweets, without obsession. For more detailed guidance, the Ellyn Satter Institute provides further resources on the Division of Responsibility in Feeding, a foundational concept for this approach.
By focusing on the bigger picture of a positive food relationship, Feeding Littles helps parents stress less about sugar and raise children who are secure and confident in their eating choices. It's a reminder that food is more than just nutrients; it's also about celebration, connection, and joy.
