How to Help Someone Who Isn't Eating Enough? A Compassionate Guide

December 20, 2025 •

4 min read

According to the National Institutes of Health, up to a quarter of older adults experience a loss of appetite. Knowing how to help someone who isn't eating enough can feel overwhelming, but understanding the underlying causes and offering the right support is crucial for their well-being.

Quick Summary

Supporting someone with a poor appetite requires patience and a sensitive approach. Strategies include offering smaller, more frequent meals, creating a low-pressure environment, and focusing on nutrient-dense foods to ensure adequate nourishment.

Key Points

Consult a Doctor: Rule out or manage underlying medical conditions or medication side effects that may cause appetite loss.
Serve Small, Frequent Meals: Instead of large, overwhelming meals, offer smaller, nutrient-dense portions and snacks throughout the day.
Focus on Nutrient-Rich Foods: Prioritize high-calorie foods like avocados, nut butters, and fortified drinks to maximize nutrition in smaller quantities.
Create a Positive Atmosphere: Make mealtimes a relaxing, social experience and present food attractively to increase appeal.
Avoid Pressure and Judgment: Refrain from nagging, commenting on weight, or engaging in power struggles around food to prevent increased anxiety.
Involve Them in the Process: Offer choices and involve the person in meal planning or preparation to give them a sense of control.
Seek Professional Help: If appetite loss persists for more than two weeks or is accompanied by other serious symptoms, consult a healthcare professional.

Understanding the Reasons Behind a Poor Appetite

Before intervening, it is essential to understand that a reduced appetite can stem from various physical, emotional, and psychological factors. It is not always a simple issue of not being hungry. Common causes include:

Medical Conditions: Illnesses such as cancer, dementia, and liver or kidney disease often cause a decreased appetite. A doctor's consultation is the first step to rule out or manage underlying health problems.
Medication Side Effects: Many common medications can suppress appetite, cause nausea, or alter the sense of taste and smell. A review of current prescriptions with a healthcare provider can help identify contributing factors.
Mental Health Issues: Depression, anxiety, and grief can significantly impact a person's desire to eat. Stress can trigger the 'fight or flight' response, which suppresses the digestive system.
Changes in Taste and Smell: The aging process can naturally dull taste buds, making food less appealing.
Dental Issues: Poorly fitting dentures or other dental problems can make chewing painful or difficult, leading to a reluctance to eat.
Pain and Fatigue: Chronic pain or general fatigue can make the effort of preparing and eating meals feel overwhelming.
Loneliness: For many, eating is a social activity. Eating alone can be a demotivating and isolating experience.

Practical Strategies for Encouraging Food Intake

Once potential underlying causes are addressed by a healthcare professional, caregivers can implement compassionate, practical strategies to help. The key is to create a positive, non-pressuring environment.

Serve Smaller, More Frequent Meals

Large plates of food can be intimidating for someone with a low appetite. Instead of three large meals, try offering five or six smaller, nutrient-dense meals or snacks throughout the day. This reduces pressure and makes it easier to consume enough calories.

Focus on Nutrient-Dense Options

When someone is eating very little, every bite counts. Concentrate on high-calorie, nutrient-rich foods that offer maximum nutritional value in a small portion. Examples include:

Adding nut butters, avocados, or olive oil to meals.
Fortifying milk with dry milk powder to add extra calories and protein.
Offering smoothies made with full-fat yogurt, fruits, and protein powder.
Serving pureed vegetable soups with added cream or butter.

Create a Pleasant Mealtime Atmosphere

Making mealtimes enjoyable can significantly impact a person's willingness to eat. A calm, inviting setting can reduce anxiety and make the experience more positive.

Keep Company: Eating with the person can make the experience more social and less like a chore.
Reduce Distractions: Turn off the television and remove clutter to create a calm, focused environment.
Use Aesthetically Pleasing Presentation: Colorful foods and attractive plating can make food more appealing to the senses.

Involve Them in the Process

Giving the person a sense of control can be empowering. If they are able, let them choose what they want to eat or help with meal preparation. This can rekindle interest and a sense of ownership.

Comparison of Approaches: Children vs. Adults

While the core principle of compassionate, non-pressuring support is universal, the specific approach to helping someone who isn't eating enough varies depending on their age and circumstances.


Strategy	Supporting an Adult/Elderly Person	Supporting a Child
Underlying Issues	Often linked to illness, medication side effects, or depression.	More commonly related to picky eating stages, sensory issues, or developmental concerns.
Communication Style	Use "I" statements to express concern without blame, e.g., "I'm worried about your health".	Keep conversation light and fun; avoid making food a source of tension or conflict.
Mealtime Environment	Create a calming atmosphere with soft music and comfortable seating.	Incorporate food exploration outside of mealtimes through taste-tests and sensory play.
Food Choices	Prioritize familiar, high-calorie, nutrient-dense foods to combat weight loss.	Repeatedly offer a variety of foods without pressure; model healthy eating habits yourself.
Professional Help	May involve a geriatrician, registered dietitian, or mental health professional.	Can include consultation with a pediatrician, occupational therapist for sensory issues, or a feeding therapist.

What to Avoid When Helping

In your efforts to help, certain actions can be counterproductive and increase stress and resistance.

Don't Nag or Pressure: Forcing someone to eat will likely backfire and create more anxiety around food. The goal is to nurture, not to force.
Avoid Body and Weight Comments: Never comment on a person's weight or appearance, even if you think it's positive. This can be triggering for someone with an eating problem.
Don't Engage in Power Struggles: Food is a powerful area of control. Do not get into arguments or use ultimatums regarding food intake.
Don't Make Assumptions: Listen to their feelings without judgment and ask how you can best support them, rather than dictating solutions.

When to Seek Professional Medical Help

While at-home strategies are important, professional help is necessary when the situation is serious. Contact a doctor if appetite loss lasts for more than two weeks, or if you notice significant unintentional weight loss, severe nausea, or other concerning symptoms. A healthcare team can provide an accurate diagnosis, treat underlying conditions, and offer a specialized nutritional plan.

For more detailed information on supporting someone with eating problems, including mental health resources, you may find the guidance from the mental health charity Mind helpful: Helping someone with eating problems

Conclusion

Supporting a loved one with a poor appetite requires a compassionate, multi-faceted approach. By understanding the potential causes, implementing practical strategies like smaller, frequent meals and nutrient-dense options, and fostering a calm mealtime environment, you can make a significant positive impact. The most crucial steps involve patience, sensitive communication, avoiding pressure, and knowing when to seek professional medical advice to ensure your loved one receives the comprehensive care they need. Remember that your support is a vital part of their journey toward better health and well-being. By being a source of comfort rather than conflict, you can help them navigate this challenging time successfully.

Frequently Asked Questions

Start by expressing your concern using 'I' statements, focusing on your observations rather than their behavior. For example, 'I've noticed you seem to have less energy, and I'm worried' is better than 'You aren't eating enough'.

Offer smaller, frequent meals and snacks, provide finger foods that are easy to manage, ensure mealtimes are social and pleasant, and focus on nutrient-dense options like smoothies or soups to maximize calorie intake. Always consult their doctor first.

Smoothies with full-fat yogurt and fruit, avocado on toast, cottage cheese, nut butters, and pureed soups are excellent choices. Fortified milk and adding extra butter or oil to meals can also boost calories without increasing portion size.

Use colorful ingredients, arrange food neatly, and serve smaller portions on a smaller plate to make the meal seem less overwhelming. Garnishes like fresh herbs can also help.

Appetite stimulants should only be used under the guidance of a healthcare professional. Discuss this option with their doctor after exploring other strategies, especially since some can have side effects.

For someone with an eating disorder, it's vital to follow their treatment plan and work with their healthcare team. Focus on validating their feelings, creating a supportive environment, and avoiding comments about their weight or food intake.

If they prefer to eat alone, respect their wishes but continue to make food available and offer support in other ways. Keep the invitation open for them to join you when they feel ready, and remember that pressure is counterproductive.

Yes, many medications can cause a loss of appetite, nausea, or alter taste. It's important to review all medications with their doctor to see if dosage adjustments or alternatives are possible.