Ellyn Satter's Division of Responsibility (sDOR) is a structured yet flexible framework that brings peace and order back to family mealtimes by creating clear boundaries around feeding. By understanding and respecting these defined roles, parents can build a feeding relationship based on trust, which allows children to develop into confident and competent eaters. This model has been endorsed by major health organizations and is backed by decades of research showing its effectiveness in promoting healthier eating behaviors.
The Parent's Role: The "What, When, and Where"
In the sDOR model, the parent is the leader of the feeding process. This means parents are responsible for deciding what food is offered, when meals and snacks are served, and where eating takes place. By taking control of the structure, parents provide a predictable and secure environment for their children. This predictability helps children feel safe and allows them to focus on their job of eating.
What the Parent Provides
- Choose and prepare food: Parents are in charge of planning and preparing a variety of nutritious, family-friendly foods. This doesn't mean catering to every whim, but rather being considerate of a child's lack of food experience by including a mix of familiar and unfamiliar foods at meals.
- Provide regular meals and snacks: Establishing a consistent schedule for meals and sit-down snacks is the backbone of the sDOR. This structure ensures children have regular opportunities to eat and prevents grazing, which can disrupt their ability to recognize hunger and fullness cues. Water is the only beverage that can be offered between these times.
- Make eating times pleasant: Mealtimes should be a positive experience, free from pressure, bribes, or power struggles. Parents can foster a pleasant atmosphere by modeling good eating behavior, engaging in conversation, and enjoying their own food. A relaxed, no-pressure environment is crucial for building a positive relationship with food.
The Child's Role: The "Whether and How Much"
Once the parent has done their job, the child is in charge of deciding whether to eat and how much to consume from the food that is offered. This is the core of the trust-based relationship. When children are trusted to listen to their own bodies, they learn to regulate their intake and develop an internal sense of hunger and fullness. This innate ability is crucial for developing lifelong healthy eating habits.
What the Child Decides
- Whether to eat: A child is always in control of their own mouth. They can choose to eat some, none, or all of the food provided. This removes the pressure to “clean their plate,” a tactic that can override natural hunger signals and create negative associations with food. It's normal for children to ignore a food offered one day and try it the next, as learning to like new foods takes time and repeated exposure.
- How much to eat: The child determines the quantity of food they need at any given meal. Some days a child may eat a lot, while other days they might eat very little. Parents must trust that these fluctuations are normal and that their child's body knows how much food it requires for proper growth.
Comparison of Feeding Roles
| Aspect | Parent's Responsibility (What, When, Where) | Child's Responsibility (How much, Whether) |
|---|---|---|
| Food Selection | Offers a variety of family-friendly foods, including familiar and new items. | Chooses which of the offered foods to eat, or not to eat. |
| Meal Schedule | Provides consistent, regular mealtimes and sit-down snacks. | Eats only at the designated times and waits patiently for the next meal or snack. |
| Portion Size | Serves an appropriate amount of food for a meal. | Decides if they want seconds or are finished with their portion. |
| Mealtime Atmosphere | Creates a pleasant, pressure-free environment. | Learns to behave appropriately at the table and participates in family meals. |
Implementing the Division of Responsibility at Different Ages
The application of the sDOR evolves as a child grows, adapting to their developmental stage.
- Infants (Birth to 6 months): The baby is responsible for how much, how fast, and how often they eat, while the parent is responsible for what (breast milk or formula). Feeding is done on demand, with the parent responding smoothly to the baby's cues.
- Transition to Solids (~6-12 months): As the baby becomes developmentally ready for solids, the parent takes on the added role of deciding when and where the child is fed, while still allowing the child to control how much and whether they eat.
- Toddlers through Adolescence: This is the classic sDOR structure, where the parent manages the what, when, and where, and the child controls the how much and whether. This remains consistent through the growing-up years, with the child gradually taking on more responsibility for their own feeding as they mature.
Why Trusting Your Child's Instincts Works
Research demonstrates that children have an innate ability to regulate their food intake to meet their metabolic needs. By giving children autonomy over how much they eat, parents protect this natural self-regulation. In contrast, controlling behaviors, such as pressuring a child to eat or restricting certain foods, can undermine this innate ability and increase the risk of disordered eating. The sDOR fosters a child's competence with eating, helping them form a positive, lifelong relationship with food. This trust-based approach also significantly reduces mealtime stress for both parents and children, making family meals a more enjoyable and meaningful experience.
Conclusion
Ellyn Satter's Division of Responsibility provides a powerful, research-backed framework for feeding children that reduces mealtime anxiety and promotes healthy eating habits. By defining clear roles—parents provide the structure of meals, and children control their intake—this model empowers children to listen to their internal hunger and fullness cues, fostering a positive, lifelong relationship with food. Adopting this approach allows parents to focus on building a trusting feeding relationship, setting their children up for success in becoming competent and joyful eaters.
